It's the clothes what make the man

There were plenty of opportunities for fun at RT Booklovers' Convention. It wasn't all panel-panel-panel-workshop-workshop-panel-panel-workshop-workshop-DEEP BREATH, though I think that about sums up my first 25 minutes at the convention.

One of the signature events is the Faery Ball, a masquerade dinner where everybody's encouraged to come in costume. Haven't been in costume at a con since 1996, I thought I'd give it a shot. My immediate mindset wasn't something cute and foofy, though. For my inspiration, I looked toward my favorite Disney villain, Maleficent of Sleeping Beauty. Not exactly as dark, sinister, or teh sexay, but it still got a great reaction from the crowd during the costume contest. The contestants were escorted across the stage by one of the entrants of the Mr. Romance contest (a.k.a. the "mangeant", the "meat contest", or "Mr. Cover Stud"), were given a little twirl, and had a chance to show off.

The MC saw me in line and howled with laughter. In fact, my escort and I even agreed that it'd be fun if he gave me the twirl at center stage and when I was about to leave, I'd whip open my fan, hold it up to block us, and kiss his cheek.

I don't think I've ever heard that many women scream like that when I'm involved.

This is a picture taken outside the ballroom, a green screen effect where you got to choose the backdrop. The wings I'm wearing are a heavy latex and they actually flapped when I walked.

The next evening was a zombie/vampire ball but I had to ditch that costume. Somewhere along the way, I'd accidentally thrown out the fangs I'd bought for the event, so I just wore what I had to the e-pub signing event earlier that afternoon. I decided to create a connection to my book But I Never Said I Didn't Love You and thought about something to wear related to it. Since there are lots of underwear jokes, I decided to look elsewhere for inspiration. Then it hit me: my character Callum wears a London Scottish Rugby League jersey in one scene so why not? Internet-bound I go and I found one on eBay.

There was another photo opportunity sponsored by Bobbi Smith, raising funds for a charity that supports families of people in the armed services. It was a picture of you with the cover studs, so I thought it'd be fun. I got into the group, a few of the guys hooting and hollering, waving "hang loose" hand signs at me and such.

The guy second from the left was my escort during the costume contest at the Faery Ball the night before. The guy to my right, next to my "thumbs up", won the Mr. Romance contest for a cool $125,000 cover deal. (There was also a drawing to be a judge for the contest, but alas and alack, it wasn't to be.) And the two guys standing to the far right of the picture weren't smiling in very many others, so it wasn't me.

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RT Booklovers' Convention vs. Real Life

I'd been to several science fiction conventions over the years, so when I decided to go to RT Booklovers' Convention, I thought I'd been sufficiently prepared.

I thought I had been.

The prep for other cons was nothing compared to what I had to do to get ready for RTCon. It was a whole new level, since I was going there with much more than myself to present. I had some extra promo postcards and refrigerator magnets featuring my book cover made, and I also brought the requisite treat for my space on Promo Row (coffee flavored candy. It disappeared by Saturday afternoon, so that was 4 pounds I didn't have to worry about hauling back [this, however, was offset by my book haul I brought home]). I had my costume for the Faery Ball, the wings needing to be shipped ahead because of the wire frame and my not wanting to get the TSA involved in...well...anything.

Conducting the Louisiana Purchase didn't require this much prep. I made Hannibal's famous trek through the Alps look like a Sunday afternoon at Lake Michigan.

Okay, I didn't bring that much stuff, but having to ship part of of it ahead and keep track of the rest of it traveling across the country through four airports makes me wonder.

And I only forgot my verboten liquids in my carry-on bag once.

Flash forward from April, to June. I'm rolling through my head what I brought with me for promo stuff and what I can do next year to improve it. The first thing I think of: BRING THE POSTCARDS THAT HAVE MY BOOK'S INFORMATION PRINTED ON THE BACK AND NOT THE ONES THAT ARE BLANK.

*headdesk*

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A bit more about me

Back in April, I attended my first RT Booklovers' Convention at the behest of my editor at AMP. It was a great idea, too, since it provided me with a large-scale opportunity to get to know the industry more. As part of the convention, I also attended the two-day pre-con writing workshop sponsored by author Bobbi Smith (if you're ever at a conference and you have the chance, stop and say hello. She's a really nice person). As part of the workshop, participants had the opportunity to submit a chapter for her annual Creative Writing Challenge for a chance at representation and possible publication, and since I was going all in this week, I submitted the first chapter of But I Never Said I Didn't Love You.

As much as I had to soak in during the workshop, I (barely) thought about it. During the final 15 minutes of the second day, Bobbi announced the three finalists who got to wear a special tag on their name badges to show off. Outside, I was all "oh, is it that time already?" and inside I was all "JUST ANNOUNCE THE WINNERS ALREADY!"

I was the first of the three finalists she announced.

Total shock. I hadn't expected to be published, I hadn't expected to be at the convention in a semi-professional capacity, and I certainly hadn't expected to be named a finalist my first time there.

Alas and alack, I didn't win but you know what they say at these things: THAT SHOULDA BEEN ME! THAT SHOULDA BEEN MY NAME SHE ANNOUNCED! I WUZ ROBBED!

Sorry. Wrong "you know what they say at these things". This isn't the year Kate Winslet was up against a real actress for an Oscar.

Later that evening, Bobbi provided some feedback and I told her that's what I was at the convention for: to hear these things, pick stuff up (besides the free books and other swag?), and hone my craft. Otherwise, it would have been a waste of everybody's time.

Plus, it's kinda fun to flip the recent issues of RT Book Reviews and the pictures on their website and say, "Oh, yeah! I was there! You can kinda sorta see my back and my ponytail! Hey! There's a picture where you can see my actual FACE!", or go "Hey, she was at the convention! So was she! So was he!"

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BLOG TOUR RULES

Welcome to Andy Dunn's Stop

on the

Aspen Mountain Press Anniversary Blog Tour.

I hope you are enjoying your tour, and getting to know lots of New Authors so I guess now is a good time for me to shamelessly promote my book.

But I Never Said I Didn't Love You is a story about a newly divorced gay man encouraged to go out and find himself.

Callum should have come out years ago, but getting married seemed like the better idea. When his coworker Brian begins to flirt with him, Callum starts to question his earlier decision. Shortly after his divorce, Callum and Brian start dating. Nothing serious. Just a laugh and a pint or three at the pub.

Even though he's uncertain how strong his feelings are for Callum, Brian encourages him to see other guys. This backfires in a rather unexpected way. Callum meets his second boyfriend Simon. Simon might just be a better suitor - he's a bit more romantic and a lot less brash than Brian.

To read an excerpt Click here.

Okay Contest time to win a copy of my Book please comment on what was the most unexpected dating advice you have ever been given. Winners will be choosen on Monday August 8th. For all the Blog Tour Rules check out the main Blog.

Next up on the AMP Blog Tour is the AMP Author Website where you can get to know the authors and their characters. You can also chime in on what the best barbecue in the world is.

Click here to Continue on your Tour.

And now for my next trick...

Writting iz hrd. Letz go shoping.

I'm currently at work on a manuscript that's been giving me fits. It's another NaNoWriMo work that's gone through extensive changes, much of the original premise twisted to fit the new or gone entirely.

One thing that's been causing me serious hair-pulling and headaches is how I go about mentioning one character's back story. I don't know why it's been so difficult, but it's something I could probably go into without getting too deep, like a brief mention in description or dialogue.

But it hasn't been that easy.

I don't know if I'm having trouble with "show! don't tell!", but I just feel like it's unnecessary blather I'm writing to fill space and finish the book. This character has already mentioned his difficult coming back home and how he hasn't spoken to a lot of people because of his past history with them, so I should probably leave it at that. One chapter I started, stopped, started, stopped, and finally scrapped was supposed to show just how difficult it's been but it just began to feel like I was beating on the character for no other reason than to show how upset he is. Sort of like what's in the past is in the past BUT HERE IT IS YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT IT BECAUSE I'M HOLDING IT UP FOR YOU TO SEE.

That, and I've got them "second book blues" bearing down on me. I've done it once already, so I should be able to do it again, right? Right? Yeah, I've written stuff for NaNo every year since 2004, but I'm probably putting unnecessary pressure on myself.

And it doesn't help I'm trying to recycle as much of a previous draft into the current one as possible and getting absolutely lost in the process...

Aspen Mountain Press Blog Tour

Just a quick note to let everybody know I'll be on the upcoming Aspen Mountain Press 5th Anniversary Blog Tour. Click the banner at the top of the page for more details, and join us August 1 - 7 for the tour! There'll be fun, prizes, blogs, prizes, book discussion, prizes, general wackiness, DID I MENTION PRIZES?

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Sorry for the gap. RT Booklovers' Convention in Los Angeles back in April (another post) took a lot out of me. I felt sorry for the people I stayed with and the online friend I finally met in person because I feel like I shortchanged them in the time department. They're really great folks, and I just wish I could have spent more time hanging out with them, especially in a city like Los Angeles. This was the third time I've been to California and like the previous trips, it's always been for something that's locked me into a schedule with little wiggle room.

And I can't fcuking stand that.

My fourth trip to California will have no structure, no schedule, no plans. I'll be going to go. Whenever I'm there next, I'll be there to hang out with people and there'll be time for coffee, conversation, and hijinx aplenty. While I took away A TON of great information from RT Booklovers' that's only going to help my writing career, I also understand the need to socialize, as was pointed out in both the program and at the RT Virgins panel. I'm an incredibly solitary creature, but I do feel the need every so often to get out there and be with others of my species.

(And circulating online, while a decent social tool, really can't substitute for a handshake, a smile, a warm hug. But that's another rant for another time.)

I've also been caught up in finishing a project I started shortly before RT Booklovers', which I completed yesterday, June 11. w00t. It's going to lie fallow for the next week before I attack it, but I have a couple other things I can work on during the lull. I'd also broke down and bought a MacBook after RT Booklovers', which has given me the opportunity to work on multiple writing projects at once. While I still love my Alphasmart Neo, it's gotten a bit too constricting since I can only do so much on it; there were too many times where I needed to see the whole project because of forgotten details ("Are Matt's eyes blue or green?") but I only had the files I'd been working on at the moment. It'll be a great tool come November for National Novel Writing Month, when I'll need the portability of a small word processor but none of the hassle or distraction of an internet connection. For right now, though, getting the MacBook has been a blessing and well worth the investment.

As mentioned earlier, I'll be running a post later on my RT Booklovers' experience, possibly even with a couple pictures!

Post-Con Crud

It's been a week since I've been home, and I have to say RT Booklovers' Conference was A BLAST. I felt overloaded because I made sure I had something to do every second of every minute of every hour (well, almost...); I was there mostly to learn as much as I could about the industry, but also to hang out and party a little.

Monday and Tuesday I attended Bobbi Smith's pre-con advanced aspiring authors' workshop, my note taking beginning in earnest and my Livescribe Pulse finally getting some extended use (got it last year at Macworld Expo). Part of the workshop involved submitting a chapter for Bobbi to review with the winner receiving further review by an agent for possible representation and possible publication. Imagine my shock at being named one of the finalists! I got to wear an extra tag on my name badge for the rest of the conference advertising this fact, which generated a lot of conversations with people. Alas and alack, I didn't win but it was an honor to have been nominated.

Probably one of the big highlights was attending the Faery Ball. I haven't been to any sort of a convention/conference since 1996; I used to attend a few science fiction conventions and always brought some sort of costumes. This was my costume for the ball, which received raves during the contest:

Went more for Maleficent than Tinker Bell. The wings are latex and flapped when I walked.

Also had a chance to have a picture taken with the contestants for this year's Mr. Romance:

BIG highlight was signing at the e-book and graphic novel expo, which was one of the main attractions for me. It was a good way to get my name and face out there, and I had some nice chats with the people who stopped by my table.

And the books. Good Lord, THE BOOKS. Of course, being a publishing conference, why should I expect to stay away from them? There were two in the registration tote bag, I got four more at a mystery book mixer, several more in the awards ceremony swag bag, three at the Faery and Vampire Balls (books were on the tables as favors), one or two I just found in various hallways, I chose nine from the goody bag room, three I actually bought from Barnes & Noble at their tables in the dealers' room...in all, I picked up 32 books. (Also picked up a wonderful case of strep throat, and I'd like to personally thank the person who gave it to me with a serious pinch.)

Don't know how many sample chapters I brought home, though. Lots of those being handed out, as well.

This was my third time out to California and I've made the same vow I made previously: next time I go to California, I'm going to just go. First time was to Pride in San Francisco, next time was Macworld Expo (also San Francisco), and this time was Los Angeles. Each time, I barely had any time to see people or do things; I did free up some time to spend with an online friend, whom I'd met for the first time in person (*waves to Dennis and his partner Deke*), but it just wasn't enough. I also stayed with a friend from my Milwaukee days (*waves to Peter and his husband Dean*), but only saw them during the times I wasn't at the conference. Next time? Next time? Next time? I will be going to California to go and see people and eat things and just be there. While it was a great conference, I don't think I had that much "me" time as I needed (yeah, 11:30 at night watching the Disney Channel in my hotel room qualifies).

Now I just need to get off my duff and finish a couple more projects, possibly even start a couple more more. This was a great jolt for me professionally and now I need to apply what I learned.

Next year, it'll be in Chicago, which is a lot closer. Now I just need to figure out what I'll be doing for an encore...

Battle Fatigue

I'm not sure how many people have seen it, but there's a clip circulating right now of former Saturday Night Live performer Victoria Jackson's incredibly virulent tirade against the m/m kiss on Glee and her weak attempts to explain anything she believes about Christianity.

I've been having a very, very deep reaction to it. Many people have dismissed it as the rantings of a whack-job or an Andy Kaufman-esque performance piece, but I've been taking it at face value.

And I'm very fucking angry.

And I'm very fucking hurt.

And I'm just very, very fucking tired.

It stung me down to my very core to hear somebody say those things just one more time. I've heard it hundreds of times over the years, but to hear it again was just too much for me tonight. I don't know her personally (I mostly remember her as "...and Victoria B. Jackson as Alice" in the SNL parody "The Robert Palmer Bunch", a mash-up of The Brady Bunch and Robert Palmer's music videos featuring the dancing models) but I've been crying off and on for the last hour or so because I feel like we're in "two steps back" mode right now and I don't feel like I can carry on for much longer. I'm just feeling browbeaten and really don't see any point in continuing to stand up for myself and fight for my rights.

I realize I'm under a huge amount of stress right now. I'm trying to finish an early draft of my gay coming of age romance set in the mid 80's before I go to Los Angeles in a couple weeks for the RT Booklovers Convention, which I'll be attending with my first book credit under my belt and promoting the hell out of it, but hearing part of that conversation just really hit me between the eyes tonight. I just felt like throwing my hands up in the air and saying, "Fine. I'll just isolate myself even further from the world and not care again. Ever. About anything."

I know it'll pass, though. These things do. Once in a while, I'll get a hair up my ass and I'll be the first one posting links to these things and screaming online CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT?! Somehow, I'll find the strength to just keep going.

But tonight?

I'm very fucking angry.

And I'm very fucking hurt.

And I'm just very, very fucking tired.

Oops...

Been a while, hasn't it?

My current WIP recently had me going down virtual roads of research. I was using Google Maps the other evening and scouting out my hometown of South Bend, Indiana. I knew a lot has changed since I moved from there to Milwaukee almost 24 years ago and saw some of the change firsthand when I went down for a wedding a little while back, but seeing it again was kinda depressing.

Many places I knew as a kid are gone or changed. Brant's Ben Franklin 5 & 10 doesn't exist (hasn't since Old Man Brant cacked it and they closed the place). Buschbaum's Drug Store is now a fabric store. One house I lived in no longer has an enclosed porch. Another is just as dreary as I remember it being when I first lived there. Ralph's News Stand and Head Shop...I mean...General Store...excuse me...is out of business, though the sign over the door remains. The Bonnie Doon drive-in on Michigan is still abandoned, and they've put up a chain link fence around it (looks like the one on Lincoln Way still might be open). I didn't even go out far enough to see what's become of the G. L. Perry on Western, and I think the K-Mart down on Ireland/Michigan might be gone; the Rite-Way across from the K-Mart is, I know. Azar's Big Boy no longer exists in the area, either. Hell, even my high school relocated a block north.

What's even crazier is I remembered how to navigate through Google Maps to get to a lot of these locations.

Upcoming Reading

Just want to let you know that I'll be reading from my novel But I Never Said I Didn't Love You at Corner Coffee, 514 N. 3rd St., Minneapolis, on January 4 at 7:00. Corner Coffee is near Target Field. Hope to see you there!

NaNo 2010

Well, it's now officially over. 61,989 for the final score.

About halfway through, I decided to write around a subplot and concentrate on the main story. Unfortunately, about a week after that, I just lost focus on the whole story entirely, around Thanksgiving weekend. My travel home was interrupted and I wasn't able to really work on it. I barely crapped out about 500 words on the 29th and just gave up.

I wrote a rather lengthy flashback scene (it wound being 12 single-spaced pages!) that I found myself thinking about more, so I printed it out (see? That's how I know it's 12 single-spaced pages!) and I'm going to see about fleshing out the story more. It might surprise me, it might fizzle. Either way, I have to see what I can do with it.

First off: I might change some of the names.

But I Never Said I Didn't Love You!

My first novel, But I Never Said I Didn't Love You!, is now available for sale through Aspen Mountain Press!

Amazon...Up the river without a paddle?

If I hadn't already canceled my Amazon account a little while ago over the GLBT literature getting delisted from the rankings because it had been tagged as "adult" material (yet you could still order histories of Penthouse or Playboy magazines) that was blamed on an overzealous programmer (yet books on "curing" homosexuality in children through prayer were still available in the rankings), this just might be the final PR nightmare that sends a good portion of their customer base elsewhere:

The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure.

Let them know they can't hide behind "freedom of speech" or "censorship", as they have been.

Hope everybody voted today. I remember the first presidential election I was able to participate in, Gary Hart didn't make the candidacy for the Dems. Disappointed, I didn't vote for Mondale and I had to keep my trap shut for the next four years.

Then came 1988 and I just let fly.

NaNo Check-In, Day 1

Hey, all. The first day of NaNoWriMo has seen 3340 words, with 1673 banked over the goal of 1667. I keep reminding myself it's quantity, not quality, but the phrase "major suckitude" keeps playing through my mind as I read what I'm writing.

But I still get a gold star for meeting the day's goal.

NaNo? WriMo!

We're coming, we're coming, a strange little band. NaNoWriMo 2010 is fast approaching and like many, I have a vague idea of what I want to write about and a few characters I'll probably include, but no cohesive plot to speak of. That's never really stopped me before.

But I Never Said I Didn't Love You began as my 2004 entry. I'd heard about NaNo in 2002 and 2003 but always within the last week or so of November. I finally put it at the top my browser's bookmarks so I'd be ready for 2004 and registered when the boards opened in October.

Along the way, I'd gotten Writer's Dreamkit, a rather helpful plotting application. It uses the Dramatica engine on a smaller scale to help identify the protagonist, antagonist, goals, and conflicts in a story. I hadn't used it beyond playing with it to see how it worked so I thought NaNo would be a perfect time to use it full scale. It took a good five or six hours to get through all of the questions and outlining and plot points but in the end, I had a working outline that I used when NaNo kicked off on November 1.

Three chapters in, I completely abandoned the outline.

First off, But I Never Said I Didn't Love You was a much more serious effort in its outline form. Not much room for the snarking and jokes. Sure, it happened in chapter 1 but after that, it was going to settle into a more dramatic story. Callum (originally named Jesse) was supposed to be much more clingy and emotionally dependent, Brian a bit more emotionally distant, and Simon, originally Shane (I knew it was a placeholder name for the longest time and renamed him probably about the third or fourth draft), didn't have much more than three lines of dialogue in the final chapter.

After about three chapters, I knew I couldn't follow the outline any longer. I just liked the interplay between Brian and Callum so much, I couldn't have them not speaking to each other at the end of the book. Simon's role was expanded to help provide better conflict, as well. And extra funny was added. Lots of extra funny.

And, as they say in Poughkeepsie, viola.

I still have the original outline in my files. Maybe some day, I'll use it.

Good grief, it's been that long!

Yeah, it has, and I've been up to my eyeballs in edits. I'm down to the last chapter and then I'll be able to mark up the manuscript with my changes to get it back to Mme. Editrix before the weekend.

Dang, this has been a process and a half.

Coming up: the launch of my website. Domain name and everything.

Edits, edits, edits...

*screams*
*runs upstairs crying*

Man. They accepted my novel after I'd submitted WHAT?!

Man. Pride has been quickly replaced with humility and sheer embarrassment.

But in other news, the second season of Being Human is now available in the US on Blu-ray!

Conflict Vs. Reacting To Events

When I set out to write my first novel, I hadn't realized just yet I was missing the one key factor required by a good story. Sure, I had interesting characters and great settings and lots of really good (sorry...inner thesaurus has crashed...[A]bort, [R]etry, [I]gnore?...) situations, but I lost interest because I was lacking conflict.

My characters would react to the situations around them and the dilemmas I'd thrown at them, but they would just move on to the next situation. And...that's it. They'd react to the situation, everybody'd cheer and celebrate their success and...move on. Whee. I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong that made me abandon several novels-to-be mid stride (well, there is that superstition where I never show anybody my work until I've finished Draft 0 that's done me in a few times) (there was this sale on parentheses at K-Mart...)

After I'd completed my first NaNoWriMo in 2004, I finally figured out what had happened: I was missing conflict in my previous attempts.

Oh, sure, I knew what was going to happen in the futuristic urban fantasy I'd started and quit on several occasions ([I]gnore), but the conclusion was foregone; if I'd continued the tangent, I simply would have had everybody reacting to these nifty-keeno situations (a lot of them I'd love to use because I enjoyed how they turned out) and have everything neatly wrapped up in a pretty blue ribbon in the final chapter, roll the credits, fade to black, the end. Not much motivation for the protagonists to move forward but to meet this unnamed force, defeat it, and win.

Sounded incredibly bland and generic to me.

Then after I'd finished But I Never Said I Didn't Love You, I tried to analyze what worked for that when I'd failed in previous attempts.

It's your standard romantic comedy triangle and inherent wackiness therein.

Temple Of The Seventh Blessing, the futuristic urban fantasy, is pretty linear and flat in its storyline. The four characters meet up, have to defeat the unnamed force that conspires against them and the rest of the world, and they win. *Yawn.* Not much room for deviation. In But I Never Said I Didn't Love You, I actually had three possible outcomes: Callum chooses Brian, Callum chooses Simon, Callum wanders off alone.

Conflict is the primary force that works on the protagonist and pushes him forward to the end of the story. True, I had that in Temple Of The Seventh Blessing, but there was no real growth, no real personal struggle, no real reason the four main characters got together, other than to defeat the foe. It was a series of "oh, look, it's a trap. Oh, look, we've escaped the trap. Oh, look, we're on the road again. Oh, look, it's another trap, etc." events and the true villain wasn't revealed until the final chapter (trite? cliche? You bet!) Yeah, saving the world from destruction is an admirable goal but again, I couldn't see how the characters were moving forward and growing. It's all external (physical) when good conflict also involves internal (emotional).

In But I Never Said I Didn't Love You, the conflict is emotional but it's there. The story isn't quite so linear, the characters encountering more bumps along the way, but in the end, they do progress and grow as the story reaches its conclusion. Not in the "you know, I've learned a very important lesson today" sense, thankfully. A better mix of the external/physical and internal/emotional forces helped bring about better reactions of the characters to these forces, and helped me craft a better story where I actually cared about who these people are and what they were doing. Yeah, none of them are rilly kewl elemental magic users who ride motorcycles in a futuristic society (at least not until I write the self-fanfic self-parody!) (Yes, I am KIDDING!), but I'd found that third dimension I'd been missing in previous novel attempts.