Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia

May 17 is International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, a day created in 2004 to bring awareness to the issue that more needs to be done to stop discrimination based on a person's gender identity and sexual preference.  Even as Minnesota celebrates becoming the 12th state in the US to allow same-sex marriage, more needs to be done on a larger scale and IDAHO works to achieve that.

From May 17-27, I'll be participating in the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia to help do my part in spreading the word.  Different parts of the US have different ideologies about GLBT people, and I remember one time shortly after I'd moved to Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  I felt more comfortable about being open and who I am there than I did back home in South Bend, Indiana, and had bought a t-shirt that declares NOBODY KNOWS I'M GAY (I think I still might even have that shirt around somewhere, even though it fit about 30 years and 50 pounds ago).  I went back to South Bend to visit friends and family there, and wore the shirt on my arrival.  When my best friend and I got to one of our favorite places for coffee, I'd taken off my jacket and immediately remembered where I was and what I was wearing.

Then I quickly crossed my arms across my chest to hide the message and deflect attention, and sat down.

It took me a long time before I was comfortable telling people I'm gay without apologizing for upsetting or offending them.  During my time being out (I first came out to myself in June, 1981), I've been quite lucky I haven't experienced the outright discrimination and violence many people have elsewhere, but attitudes are changing.  Of course, it's still possible to be fired in many states in the United States for being gay or transgender, but we're slowly turning the corner on that.  Hard to believe this happens in a country where many basic freedoms are supposedly guaranteed in a document that contains the phrase "...all men are created equal".

As part of the hop, I'll be giving away a copy of my e-book Kitchen Witch.  It's my latest gay romance, and all you need to do to enter is leave your name and email address in a comment on this post.  That's all.  Pretty easy, yes?  Meanwhile, I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the hop's participants, and thanks for stopping by!

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Home again, home again, jiggety-jog!

I came home from this year's RT Booklovers Convention (link to their page on Flickr) this past Monday, and I just want to say a big THANK YOU! to everybody I saw there, particularly those who stopped at my table during the E-Book, Indie Published, and Graphic Novel Expo (again, link to their Flickr page).  That has been a highlight of the conference for me because it gives me a chance to say "hi!" to people, particularly my fellow authors (watch out for Nikki Duncan.  She throws Snickers Minis at people she knows.  I know.  Sounds horrible, don't it?)  I also had the chance to hang out with people I only see online the rest of the year and talk shop with them (hi, Grace!  Hi, Lori!  Hi, Vanessa!  Hi, Christine!).

There are times where I forget most of this "author" jazz and lose the focus of why I go to RT Booklovers.  It's the social aspect that I need to get my face and name out there.  I have to remember I'm doing this not only to attend the seminars and pick up a few pointers and learn the business end, but to have people know me.  Lila Dubois, who sat next to me at my first RT Booklovers in 2011, stopped to say hello during the Expo.  Many of the cover models who attend remember me, as well, particularly Scott Nova, who was my escort during the masquerade at the 2011 and 2012 Faerie Balls.

I'm also learning that I have to reach out to people if I want that connection.  It's a difficult process for me, but I have to overcome that discomfort if I truly want to make that First Impression.  During the Fan-tastic Day party, I had an opportunity to do that.  I'd seen fellow M/M author Damon Suede last year in Chicago but really didn't have a chance to say anything.  This year, he was on a panel I'd attended but didn't have the chance to talk to him after that since everybody was scrambling to get to the next (even a 15-minute block of time between panels can evaporate quickly when you have to stop and chat with somebody!)  At the Fan-tastic Day party, he was doing emcee duty and calling out raffle ticket numbers for the door prizes.  I'd had a bunch of my promo material with me since I was A Scheduled Author, and I got the sudden idea that it would not only be a great idea to connect with the rest of the attendees, but to say "hi" to A Big Name.

I went to the front of the ballroom where the event was, and kindly waited off to the side for a chance to talk to him.  Well.  That was easier said than done.  Many of the ticket numbers went unclaimed so he had to pull another one and announce that.  It just kept going that way, and I was just waiting my turn.  As I waited, I had the usual internal monologue going when I want to speak to somebody:  Oh, please, shut up already so I can talk to you I just want to say something really quick it won't take that long will you just shut the hell up already oh my God I can't talk to him I'm going to say something rilly stoopid and he'll think I'm an idiot it'll just be easier if I die right here where I'm standing please shut up already!  I finally got a chance to talk to him when somebody was able to claim one of the door prizes, and I handed him sample chapter booklets for But I Never Said I Didn't Love You  and Kitchen Witch.  I told him I have some of his work, and I wanted him to sample some of mine.  He seemed genuinely pleased and I got a nice hug out of it, as well.

(Which he does very well.  And he's a cute little shit, which helps.)

Some people have asked me, and I've asked this myself, if I'm so overcome with this social awkwardness, why the hell am I an author?  Reaching out and connecting with people is a big part of it, and it scares me to death I have to do this.  Many times, though, when I move beyond the initial "oh, what do you write?  Anything recent?" type of conversation, I'm finding some very pleasant, fun conversations with others.  I've also had the chance to discuss some of these fears while at the conference this year, and for many it's a universal feeling.  There's that fear of rejection, which is a common aspect of the business and I have to learn to accept as a norm.

It's hard to separate the personal from the business, however.  It's also difficult for me to take peoples' positive feedback for what it is:  positive feedback.  I've had the rug pulled out from beneath me so many times, I find it hard to trust a person might actually have no ulterior motive when they tell me they like my book, other than telling me they liked my book.

I also find it difficult to discuss this without sounding like I'm only looking for pity or validation.

No.  Seriously.  I did have fun at RT Booklovers this year, and I'm glad I went and I'm planning on going next year.  It wasn't all trauma fits over my self worth as a human being or doubts over my writing.  I enjoyed myself immensely.  I guess I learned a bit more about the business than I'd expected.

We now resume our regularly scheduled program...

Maybe.

The last seven months or so haven't been the easiest for me. Around September or October, I'd noticed some chest discomfort and thought it was from my backpack. I'd shift it to one shoulder and slow down, and the discomfort would subside. This happened to me several times, maybe two or three times a week, and I was getting concerned. Plus my blood sugar numbers had skyrocketed, about 30 to 40 points higher than usual. During a week I had off in November to use for National Novel Writing Month, my doctor had called to schedule some regular blood work to make sure my diabetes and cholesterol medications weren't interfering with anything else. I figured since I was going to the doctor, anyway, I decided I'd see him about the chest discomfort.

That morning, the alarm went off and I got up to hit the snooze button. And it hit me. Hard. It wasn't just discomfort but serious, constricting pain. I didn't know what the hell was going on but it had subsided by the time I had gotten up and was on the way to the bus to get to the doctor. Once there, I rearranged the appointment to include a consultation with my doctor and he set up an EKG along with the blood work. The cardiology specialist didn't like the results of the EKG and scheduled a stress test for later that afternoon. I'd heard about those and had never had one, so I wasn't really ready for the grinding and rubbing of the ultrasound wand against my ribs and sternum.

Once they got the initial readings, I was put on the treadmill and the real fun began. As the test progressed, my blood pressure shot up to 200/116 and I began to have some of the same chest discomfort I'd experienced earlier which led me to mention it to the doctor. Because of that, they cut the treadmill portion short and got the final readings they needed. I went home and got a disturbing call that evening.

The chest pain I'd experienced earlier that morning was a mild heart attack.

I misunderstood what was going on and completed miscommunicated everything to everybody who needed to know what was going on. I didn't realize that I had to be admitted to the hospital that night because the phone kept cutting in and out, so Peter was unnerved when I didn't come home. That, and a healthy dose of denial kept me from believing anything serious at all had happened (in the usual sick sense of humor I've come to expect from the universe, not counting staff, I was the youngest person in the unit.) The food was decent and I was slightly outraged at the miniscule portions, constantly reminding myself I WAS IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL AND IN THE CARDIAC UNIT SO THEY WERE GOING TO HAVE TO BE MINISCULE. The boredom probably ravaged me the most, however. Since I wasn't clear on what was going on, I didn't even bother to grab my nook on the way to the emergency room, figuring I'd be in and out spit spot. And because of the IV in my hand, I couldn't sleep on my side, like I usually do. Sleeping on my back was incredibly uncomfortable for me, taking two nights to get used to it, which was almost pointless because I was released on the fourth day.

And I had to spend my birthday in the hospital getting an angiogram.

Having type II diabetes, I usually don't need insulin shots but because my blood sugar numbers were so scattered, they became part of my medication regime while I was there. They finally stabilized when the doctor had hoped, so I was released when they'd expected it. The angiogram showed a blocked artery but they didn't put in a stent because two smaller arteries around it were doing the extra work and the cardiologist decided a medication regime would be just as beneficial.

I'm now on a total of NINE prescriptions for diabetes, acid reflux, cholesterol, high blood pressure, and the blocked artery. Of course, the medication for the artery is the only one that's not a generic but the plan from work covers a huge chunk of it. I've also gone through a cardiac rehab program that was recommended by my cardiologist and I'm trying to adhere to most of it. And trying to fight through the biggest, deepest round of guilt, anger, self-hatred, and self-loathing I've ever experienced. I know everything I was doing wrong for myself and to myself, and have incessantly beat myself up over it. Much of it could have been prevented and the severity lessened, sure, but with my medical history it was a case of when I'd develop heart disease. I could give you the complete laundry list but I don't want to bore you.

Along the way, I'd developed issues at the day job. Long story and tl;dr version, I had to get an Americans with Disabilities Act dispensation to move to a more desirable position with much less stress than what I'd been moved to almost a year ago. And other things have suffered, as well. Not-so-important, more "busy work" things. Such as updating this blog and my website. And needing to get some more pictures taken for possible inclusion on my site. And getting some things ready for RT Booklovers Convention, where I'll be in just a smidge over two weeks. (Commence self-loathing and beating self up.) And not beating myself up so much.

We have a winner!

Thanks to everybody who visited my blog during the Howloween Blog Hop, graciously hosted by The Blog Hop Spot.  I'm happy to announce that hentaifangirl is the winner of the Kitchen Witch prize pack.  I'll be contacting you shortly for the details.  Once again, thanks to everybody who entered and I hope I'll see you around!

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For a complete list of participants, click here!

Whoa!  That was a surprise!  I'd barely gotten started at my end, and I already had comments on my blog.  Rest assured, if you've already commented on my first post you're entered for the Kitchen Witch prize pack, which consists of a signed cover flat, magnet, and trading card, plus a copy of the e-book (your choice of format).  To be entered, just leave a comment either here or on the previous post, including your email.  The winner will be announced on October 30, so I hope you stick around.

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For the full list of participants, click here! 

The last blog hop was so much fun...

I thought I'd participate in another one!

This one is the Howloween Blog Hop, hosted by The Blog Hop Spot.  I'll be on the hop October 26th through 29th, and I'll be giving away a Kitchen Witch prize pack consisting of a signed magnet, cover flat, trading card, and a copy of the e-book (your choice of format).  Sounds fun and I hope to see you there!

Here we are, on the last day of the blog hop.  I want to take a moment to thank everybody who's stopped by and left a comment, not just here on mine but on all of the participants' blogs.  It's been a great week for authors and readers alike.  Good luck on the drawings; winners will be notified later this week.

With that, I leave you with this musical number from Were The World Mine:

Did you know...

If a single woman sleeps with a piece of wedding cake under her pillow, she will dream of how to get buttercream frosting out of bed linens.

I'll leave you with this wonderful animated short for Cher's Dark Lady, produced for The Sonny & Cher Show:

Did you know...

Here's an odd one:  if you drop an umbrella on the floor, there's going to be a murder in the house.  Especially if somebody doesn't get back here AND PICK UP THAT UMBRELLA AND PUT IT BACK ON THE COAT RACK LIKE I'VE ALREADY ASKED THEM TO DO ONLY ABOUT A MILLION TIMES TODAY.

No, I don't think this one is from Every Mother's Guide to Superstition.

To help you start your weekend right, here's Cindy Wilson of the B-52's and her electrifying rendition of Screamin' Jay Hawkins' I Put A Spell On You:

Don't forget: there's still plenty of time for you to join the blog hop and enter for your chance to win a Kindle Fire or other swelligant prizes, including a copy of my latest e-book, Kitchen Witch!  The hop runs until this Sunday, October 7.

Did you know...


If the bottom of your right foot itches, you're going to take a trip.  Or it might just be time to change your socks.

And here's tonight's special guest, Frank Sinatra with his hit Witchcraft:

 

Did you know...

According to a superstition dating to the 1580's, you had to crush the ends of your egg shell after you'd finished eating your eggs.  That way, a witch wouldn't be able to gather the empty shells to fashion a boat, go out to sea, and create storms.

I think I dated a guy like that for a couple months.

Speaking of crazy witches, here's Elizabeth Montgomery in Bewitched as Samantha's groovy cousin Serena singing "Blow You a Kiss in the Wind" to send you off:

Did you know...

Today's superstition first appeared in 1957's Every Mother's Guide to Superstition:

If you drop silverware on the floor, that means company's coming to visit.  Possibly the paramedics if you don't put some shoes on, walking around barefoot with silverware all over the floor like you do.  What, I didn't raise you to know any better?

Man.  Sorry for the flashbacks.

Here to send you off to the next blog on the hop is a polite request from Dame Shirley Bassey:

 
 

Did you know...

Today's superstition was first reported in Soperstishon, Majik, Annd Othir Maladeze, published in 1567 in Caerwent, Wales.  It states:

Wenn the howsecatt winnks at yu, it is yur tirn tu chaynge the howsecatt's pottybocks.

Lucky you.

Meanwhile, here's a fan remix of Cass Elliott performing "Different" from the movie H. R. Pufnstuf to see you through the rest of today.

It's the Musa Publishing First Anniversary Blog Hop

While it officially kicks off tomorrow and runs until October 7, I thought I'd let you know that I'll be covering some superstitions and witchy-related music.  Some of the superstitions may be real, some not, but it's all to get you in the mood for Halloween.  Don't forget:  during the blog hop, every comment you leave is an entry in the drawing for a Kindle Fire and other great prizes.  I'll also be giving away a copy of my latest Musa e-book, Kitchen Witch.

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Rules to the HOP 

1) HAVE FUN!!!

2) INVITE ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!!

3) THIS TOUR STARTS: October 1, at Midnight (est)

    THIS TOUR ENDS: , October 7, at Midnight (pst)

    Winners will be drawn and posted October 9th! ***

Come Join the Party on October 7th at The Romance Review Forum to enter to win more prizes. http://www.theromancereviews.com/forum/index.php?board=41.0

4) PARTICIPATION AT ALL BLOGS IS RECOMMENDED, BUT NOT REQUIRED. REMEMBER, THE MORE BLOGS YOU HOP and COMMENT ON, THE BETTER YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING PRIZES.

5) Grand Prize of a Kindle Fire is for US and Canada mailing addresses only. International winners will receive a $50.00 Musa Gift Card. Winner will be announced on October 7th  2012 at 11 est at The Romance Review forum.

6) DID I MENTION TO HAVE FUN?

 ***Authors & Book Pages have full discretion to choose an alternate winner in the event any winner fails to claim their prize(s) within 72 hours of their name being posted or after notification of win, whichever comes first. Anyone who participates in this blog hop tour is subject to these rules***

It's the Musa Publishing First Anniversary Blog Hop!

My publisher is celebrating their first anniversary from October 1 - 7, and you get the presents!  (Isn't that the way it's supposed to go?  A friend has a birthday, they get married, have a baby, I should get a present, right?  I mean it never made any sense for me to be the one to bring cupcakes to school on my birthday when it really should have been the other way around.  Then again, some of the vipers I went to school with, I probably wouldn't have trusted them any farther than I can spit a piano...OW!  Okay!  I get it!  Jeez.)

Where was I?

To celebrate, Musa is giving away a Kindle Fire, two fantastic Musa canvas swag bags loaded with promo material from their authors (Kindle Fire and swag bags to US or Canada entrants only), and a $50 gift card (international entrants).  All you have to do for your chance to win is follow the hop and comment along the way.  Each time you comment, you get an entry for the drawing.  That's it.  Plus you have the chance to win a prize from a Musa author.  Free stuff!  What could be better?

When you stop and comment on my blog, not only are you eligible for one of the boss keen neat grand prizes, you'll also be in the running for a free copy of my latest Musa e-book Kitchen Witch (your choice of format).

Rules to the HOP 

1) HAVE FUN!!!

2) INVITE ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!!

3) THIS TOUR STARTS: October 1, at Midnight (est)

    THIS TOUR ENDS: , October 7, at Midnight (pst)

    Winners will be drawn and posted October 9th! ***

Come Join the Party on October 7th at The Romance Review Forum to enter to win more prizes. http://www.theromancereviews.com/forum/index.php?board=41.0

4) PARTICIPATION AT ALL BLOGS IS RECOMMENDED, BUT NOT REQUIRED. REMEMBER, THE MORE BLOGS YOU HOP and COMMENT ON, THE BETTER YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING PRIZES.

5) Grand Prize of a Kindle Fire is for US and Canada mailing addresses only. International winners will receive a $50.00 Musa Gift Card. Winner will be announced on October 7th  2012 at 11 est at The Romance Review forum.

6) DID I MENTION TO HAVE FUN?

 ***Authors & Book Pages have full discretion to choose an alternate winner in the event any winner fails to claim their prize(s) within 72 hours of their name being posted or after notification of win, whichever comes first. Anyone who participates in this blog hop tour is subject to these rules***

 So please pop in, as we'll all have some fun things to share!

Win one of five autographed copies of But I Never Said I Didn't Love You! More details on the giveaway at The Romance Reviews.

Special giveaway!

Please visit my author page at The Romance Reviews August 5-19 for a chance to win one of five autographed copies of the special print edition of my first novel, But I Never Said I Didn't Love You!

Click here for my author page.

Email.

Instant messaging.

Message boards and forums.

LiveJournal.

Twitter.

MySpace.

Facebook.

When does too much become enough?

How many forms of online communication do we really need before we've reached Absolute Saturation?

How much can we convey to others without repeating ourselves?

What's the limit?

How far can we go before there's nothing before or behind us?

Do we really need to be the one with the most contacts or "friends" or "buddies" to the point where we get our own series on MVHE!TV1 or are ridiculed on Attack of the Show on G4?

Do we really need that many more opportunities to ignore others and be ignored ourselves?

What are the social obligations of having so many ways to contact people and share with them?

Are they even real forms of communication?

Is much of what we're sharing vital to true social interaction?

Is much of what we're sharing true social interaction?

Is much of what we're sharing even necessary?

When can we say we're finally validated?

When can we say everybody's responded to us?

How can we say anybody's responded?

Is anybody listening?

"Kitchen Witch" is now available!

I'm happy to announce my latest e-book, Kitchen Witch, is now available from Musa Publishing! Please take a look and buy many of copies! Vast quantities! Heaps and mounds! Gobs and Gobs! Whole bunches!

More about my publisher than me

My next book, Kitchen Witch, is being released on July 6 so I thought I'd take a moment to talk up my publisher.

Musa Publishing: About Us

My transition over to Musa wasn't exactly a cakewalk through the park. I'd had some serious setbacks with my previous publisher, The Publisher That Shall Not Be Named (no, not Publish America, braise Jeebus) but I'd sensed a better opportunity when Musa opened its doors. I'd worked with Editorial Director Celina Summers on my first book, But I Never Said I Didn't Love You, and knew I'd want to work with her again if given the chance. When the rights to BINSIDLY reverted back to me by default, I took it to Musa and it was re-released last winter. Several hours after BINSIDLY had been accepted, I'd received word Kitchen Witch was going to be my next project. Flash forward to this spring and I had the chance to work directly with Celina again on Kitchen Witch. To be honest, it was the toughest edit I'd gone through, "surviving" a more apt word. But given another chance? I'd go through it again. Sure, it got a bit disheartening the deeper I got into the edits and I really, really questioned my abilities as a writer but I'll have a brand new shiny book WITH MY NAME ON THE FRONT COVER AND EVER'THING! come July 6. I'm really proud of the work done on/to/for it, and I appreciate everything Celina and Kelly Shorten, the cover artist, have done for me. I hope to continue a long, fruitful relationship with Musa. Again, take a look at their history and background by clicking the link above. Also, to have some fun and get to know some of my fellow Musa authors, our Erato imprint is having a blog scavenger hunt. Click the graphic below for clues and to join in!